In a song I don’t remember who sang, the old cowboy told the young one that the only real differences between his day and and now was “Younger women, older whiskey, faster horses and more money.” You can add better toilet paper and shoe laces to this list of improvements over the good old days. When I was a kid, it was always a problem starting a new roll of toilet paper. I would have about half the roll off and all over the place before I got it evened out. Maybe it was the cheap stuff my mother bought, I don’t know. But this is a thing of the past, as modern manufacturing has solved the problem of the hard-to-start roll of toilet paper. I am beside myself with joy with that one.
Another improvement over the years is the ordinary shoe lace. I don’t remember the last time I broke a shoe lace. I know is has been a while. But I broke shoe laces with regularity all through grade school. My Keds had more knots than the Boy Scout Manual I referred to when I tried to tie something besides a slip knot. I am again beside myself.
Brian's Blog 
Dear Brian,
your son still needs a lot of toilet paper and breakes shoe laces like twice a week AND I DONT BUY ANY CHEAP STUFF!!!Besides,my Keds are perfect.What about the younger women and the faster horses?
All the best,your daughter-in-law
Dear Daughter-in-Law,
The song is a country-western tune and thus, philosophically speaking, more about aesthetics than logic.
I suggest loafers as as an alternative for laces. Unfortunately, toilet paper is inextricably bound up with one of two unavoidable life activities and cannot be eliminated hygienically.
Brian
PS: How are all three of the younger women doing?
Dear Brian,
I will take this as a tip for my husband-hm,loafers at work?Maybe the toiletpaper-thing will work out someday…one of the younger women is yelling for some each day.They are going to have a bath soon(to eliminate hygienically some other stuff).We hope youre doing fine,too.Marion