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Archive for December 7th, 2008

President Bush Is My Brother

Half-brothers?
Half-brothers?

 Orenthal James Simpson claims to be the secret love-child of former president George Herbert Walker Bush and a domestic hired to work at the family’s estate in Maine, thus making him the President’s half-brother.  In a telephone interview from jail, the 61-year old convicted felon told reporters there are simply too many similarities to discount his story.

“Look,” said the former football hero and Heisman Trophy winner, “we both got initials for names.  We got almost the same I.Q.  We both been to college for something besides education.  We both got a few detractors.”  Simpson went on to say “Just look at us.  Anyone can see how much we look alike. ” 

Simpson is pinning his hopes on the outgoing President, saying “He has got to pardon me. He ain’t gonna let his brother spend the rest of his life in prison.”

When asked why he had not make this information public before, Simpson said he did not want to hurt the President’s chances of being re-elected.  “He deserves every opportunity to serve the country.”  When told the Constitution prohibited a President from being re-elected to a third consecutive term, Simpson said “Oh.”  When asked if he would appeal to President-elect Obama should Bush not pardon him, Simpson said “I am not a Muslim yet, Obama ain’t gonna want to help me.”  On being informed Obama was Christian and not Muslim, Simpson replied “Oh.”

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