Nancy Witcher Astor (May 19, 1879 – May 2, 1964) was the first woman to serve as a Member of Parliament in the British House of Commons and is reported to have told Winston Churchill –
“If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea,” to which he responded, “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it!”
This exchange with Churchill isn’t well documented and may be falsely attributed to her. But there are other examples of her wit.
- I married beneath me. All women do.
- I refuse to admit that I am more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.
- In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman.
- One reason why I don’t drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time..
- The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
- The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.
- We women talk too much, but even then we don’t tell half what we know.
What isn’t well known about Nancy Astor is that she was an American, born in Danville, Virginia. That she was a hypocritical racist and Christian Scientist may only be coincidental.
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I’ve heard the one which Chruchill responded to and always laugh, hoping I can remember it when I hear something similiar.
As for Ms. Astor, when she says “The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.” I laugh even harder.
I always appreciated a quick wit in someone. They are otherwise known as a Smart Alec, Wise A** or Cynic (terms of endearment if you ask me).
I just remembered another one by Churchill. He was at a party, drunk, and made some remarks to a woman. She said to him “Sir, you are drunk!” He replied, “Yes, Madam, I am, and you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober.”